10 Things Men Want You to Do More Often
When we asked guys what they\'d like more of from the lady in their life, their answers ranged from the raunchy to the (almost) romantic. But men aren\'t so different from women after all — they just want to be pampered and feel loved. Sound familiar?
1. Remind Him How Hot He Is
Men have self-esteem issues too. \'I\'m not vain, but sometimes I need affirmations about my appearance.
Daniel, 29: ‘I always tell my girlfriend she\'s beautiful, but she never returns the favor,\' says \'I don\'t need to hear \'I love you\' more, but a \'You look handsome\' would be great.\"
2. Keep him on his toes
When you first start dating a guy, it\'s easy to fall hard and fast. The reason: He\'s on an all-out mission to charm you. \"The wooing stage is about selling himself and putting his best foot forward,\" says Calgary, Canada, sexologist Trina Read, Ph.D.
So even after you already had sex together, it’s good to have a bit of a game. Don’t over think it, something simple will do for a start.
James, 31: ‘A girl I was dating for 7 weeks, things were going well, nothing out of the ordinary, but we had a good, steady connection. She called me up one day at lunch time that she wants to meet for a drink after work. We had a nice chat as usual, some drinks and then casually she kissed me goodbye before hopping into a cab with a cheeky smile. I was thrown. The next day we met for dinner and had the hottest sex afterwards, which blew me away’
3. Lend a Hand
No, not that way (although he probably wouldn\'t turn that down). We\'re talking about using your hands for back scratching, shoulder rubbing and any other massaging techniques you can think of.
Richard, 36: ‘When I come home from work, I just wanna relax and unwind for a bit. I was seeing this girl a while ago and she was amazing in massaging, she didn’t do it often but she had this 6th sense to know when I needed it the most, even if it was just a 5 minute head massage. It totally revived me every time’
4. Do something unexpected
Women love surprises, a little gift, an unexpected visit, a sexy email. But you can’t expect just to get and get.
Darrel 41: \"The coolest thing a girl has ever done was send me flowers. I was on a business trip for a week, and when I got to the room, they were waiting for me with a nice note. I have no idea how she did it! But it\'s 15 years later and I still haven\'t forgotten it.\"
5. You earn money too
Not to go to the extremes and get into a long-winded conversation about equality and feminism, but just for arguments sake, sometimes it’s nice to invite your man for a meal and actually pick up the tab. He may think you are just being silly, but a nice smile and an ‘I insist’ should help him to get over the surprise.
Wagner 27: \"I wish she would treat me to a nice meal at a fancy restaurant.’
6. Learn something together
In the modern world everyone is trying to improve themselves to get ahead of competition at work and one’s private life too. How nice would it be if instead of the pressure to be better you would actually have someone to share knowledge with?
Simplest thing to do is to go to an Exhibition or Art Gallery. You may not become an expert, but set yourself the task of reading about two pieces of art each and then explain their meaning to each other. It shouldn’t take you longer than 10 minutes, yet it’s tones of fun and useful at the same time.
7. Plan the Date for Us
Sick of the \"What Do You Want to Do?\" game? So is he. In every relationship or developing relationship there is a natural imbalance of organizing activities for the time spent together. It’s completely normal, although try to keep it to the all time 70-30 rule. (The limit of balance in % over which things become one-dimensional in the long run) In other words, if he comes up with ideas 7 times out of 10 you MUST realize that it’s your turn for at least 3 times.
Mark 25: \"She always puts pressure on me to come up with great dates. I wish she would organize stuff for us to do once in a while. Take me out for a change!\"
Bowling, Movie in with ice-cream, Pool, Theatre, Cinema, Ice skating, Air hockey, Picnic, Rock climbing, Swimming together, a Stroll in the park are just some of the ideas you can pick and choose from and they do not require a lot of effort.
8. Try to see the other side of the coin
More than one man complained that women hear only what they want to hear during fights. Before your head goes up in smoke and fury, if the guy is making an attempt to explain why he did what he did, just try and ask yourself TWO KEY questions: ‘Would I have done what I am asking him to do?’ if the answer is Yes then ‘Is what I am asking him to do justified?’ If the answer was ‘No’ to the first question then there you go.
Saeed, 35: \"Be more understanding. A lot of times women don\'t see things from a male perspective”
9. Go Outside Your Comfort Zone
So you like foreign films and he likes fishing? Indulge him every once in a while.
Ryan, 22: \"I wish she were more outdoorsy! I love to go out and be active; she always wants to stay inside”
Remember, this advice works for your sex life, too!
10. Take it easy
Many relationship or dating ends because one of you is obsessing too much about the other.
Now, ‘too much’ is a relative term, so careful, you don’t know what’s too much for your partner to be until you get to know him better. In order to do that, you need to take it easy. Show interest, but if you send 7 messages to him and he only sends you 2 back you should modify your strategy. (70-30 Balance rule applies)
Mykil, 26: ‘I like to know what’s happening with my girl, but sometimes you are just simply busy and don’t have the time to elaborate on answers. I would like my girl to understand that and read between the lines when that happens, at the end of the day, we will talk when we meet.’
Research and editing by Lucy Richards Dating expert
